oh god

there was a woman at work who just turned 50. she said turning 50 made her realize how little time she has left, and how important it is to do/see/experience all that life has to offer before it is over. it is over so quickly, she said.

and that made me wonder, what can this life possibly have to offer that she is so afraid to miss out on? and that made me cry….

oh god,

is this all there is?

this trivial existence,

this unreality of life

oh god,

what am i to do

if this is all there is

if this life is real?

could it be, god

that i am missing the experience

by refusing to be content

with this nothingness?

they speak of blessings

yet you rain upon me

and i feel nothing

but mere drops

in the desert of my soul

oh god,

how can i find joy

when everything

feels so empty here

and nothing, nothing

ever satisfies

oh god,

i am afraid that even you

cannot make a difference

i simply can’t believe

in life

anymore

oh god

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  1. Trackback: very early healing pieces « Emmaatlast’s Weblog

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