hear my cry

my god,

i raise my arms in pleading

supplication and I wail

your name unto the heavens

i fall onto my knees and keen

my lament into the soil

i curl into a fetal

ball of anguished mourning

and sobs wrack through

my pain infested body

yet not a sound is heard

no echo pierces

no whimper hints

into the eerie silence

of my still reality

only i can hear the howling

savage screaming

of this primal raging

within these inaudible depths

there is no

release

she remains

trapped inside this rock

solid wall of pain

this impenetrable fortress

and i cannot escape

this prison of my self

 

oh god, hear my cry
 

 

here in the darkness

here in the darkness

of my mother’s womb I lie

in fetal posture of vulnerable

trust enfolded

in the sanguine

of her sacred environ

a silent yet resounding

mixture of suspension and expectancy

where awakening and slumber co-exist, protected

from the harshness of the world , i curl

into the yielding softness

of the dark

and passively receive her

nurture while i grow

until at last i can emerge

into the light to bring joy

to those who will receive me

 

here in the darkness of my mother

earth I lie in fetal posture

of vulnerable trust enshrouded

in the humic envelope of her

sacred environ

a fertile yet feculant mix of death

and nourishment where dormance

and potential co-exist protected

from the harshness of the world, i curl

into the yielding softness

of the dark

and passively receive her nurture while I grow

until at last i can emerge

into the light to bring

joy to those who will receive me

 

here in the darkness of my beloved’s

arms I lie in fetal posture of

vulnerable trust encircled

in the tender power of her

sacred environ a gentle

yet passionate mix

of disclosure and discovery

in the sharing of our

pain and pleasure

where tears and ecstasy co-exist protected

from the harshness of the world

we curl into the yielding

softness of the dark

and passively receive its nurture while love grows

until at last

we can emerge into the light

to bring joy to those who will receive us

 

here in the darkness of my soul

I lie in fetal posture of vulnerable trust

enveloped in the calm

but frightening depths

of her sacred environ

a painful yet blessed mix

of anguish and revelation

where death and resurrection co-exist

protected from the harshness of the world

i curl into the yielding softness

of the dark and passively

receive her nurture while I grow

until at last i can emerge into

the light to bring joy

to those who will receive me

 

here in the darkness of this

life

we lie in fetal posture of vulnerable trust

embraced in our Mother’s arms

in this realm’s confused mixture of sorrow and of joy

where creation and destruction co-exist

yet if we curl into Her yielding softness

we are protected from the harshness

of this world

and we will receive her nurture while we grow

until at last we emerge into the light

through this dark tunnel of Her birth canal

to bring joy to those who will receive us
 

 

boxing vicki

i hear the hammer

pounding in the nails

of this box

you put me in

forcing curves

into a square shape

and the blows

are deafening me

as my twisted body

submits to the barrage

i know why you did it

why you forced me in this box

so that i would fit

inside this closet of your life

with no power to escape

in legs that kneel

or arms that wrap

o’er heads and ears

to absorb the hammer’s blow

but i will kick

and scream

inside this box

until the rotting planks

of your restraint

splinter beneath my fists

and my voice will be heard

singing

sentry of shame

shame
she looms large upon the threshold
and wields
her weapon of destruction
annihilating invitations
with her cold machete
of reproach
entrance granted only
to those who can survive
the pressure
of her blade of steel
cutting remarks
remove appendages
one by one
as she enumerates my failures
till i am left incompetent
as she sees me
unable and unworthy
to hold love
her mutilation justified
for she cannot allow
love to come inside

unutterable

My beloved,

as i explore the mysterious depths

of a love

which is unutterable to my lips,

unthinkable thoughts

cease to form

as I strive to comprehend

and fail

 

and i am left

with the agony and ecstacy

of a purity of feeling

which i cannot express

as my passion grows

to experience all of you

to have no knowledge be withheld

 

i wrap my arms around you

and pull you deeper into me

as i yearn to meld with you

to be absorbed by you

as i envelop you

 

and i long to hear the holy groans

of your deepest longings

as you cast your pearls within me

and i rise to join your glory

 

with a cry of my own

which you alone now hear

in this excruciating dance

this intimate communion

of unutterable depths

 

sunset

sunset

I am the

beauty of the sunset,

a deep, rich spectrum of color

in this marriage of light and dark,

created when the remnants of pollution

upon the atmosphere of my soul are touched

by the angle of Love’s light. they reflect to you

in this violently wild array of emotion’s color,

this crazy blend of ecstasy and despair, this

vivid, vibrant mixture of pain and pleasure,

discovery and loss, where life and death

meet at the junction of joy and

sorrow in the horizon

of my soul

metamorphoses inquiry

perhaps i am an egg

deposited on this leaf

where i feed on Love

in crucial embryotic need

 

perhaps i am a caterpillar

in my hungry larval stage

ceaselessly shedding the skin

of phenomenal new growth

 

perhaps i am a pupae

encased in this cocoon

reorganizing my insides

as wings of liberation bud

 

perhaps i am emerging

in this struggle now, to squeeze

the heaviness of obsolete

messages from me

 

perhaps i lie here resting

lean and wet with my rebirth

fragile basking in essential light,

solidifying warmth

 

perhaps i am a butterfly

in this insatiate quest for nectar

pollinating blossoms

as i drench myself in You

 

and yet i wonder

when will i see

the color

of my wings

 

 

 

 

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