Oh god

how I wonder

As I gaze across a crowded room

And search for you within each face

I wonder

Where you hide inside each one

Yearning to be free

Sometimes you are there, like a secret in the dark

Waiting, waiting through the cold

Dormant and apparently unchanged

Yet at other times you are so very pregnant

I can almost feel the water’s spray

Bursting from your womb

Upon my face

Yet constantly I search for You

And I wonder


why do you break yourself this way

and pour yourself into so many pieces

for My Love,

it is not your peace I often see

but rather pain spread out across humanity

and I wonder

was it too much to bear alone

that which you had held inside so long, oh Love,

is that why you do it

or does the very separation of yourself create it?

and I am back to wonder

is it you inside the heart of one so filled with fear

seeking to protect with weapons, large and small

and is it the same you who comes to cradle

or is this suffering merely an illusion

are you truly in all things and all things indeed are good

the light this darkness cannot understand

are you war and peace?

Love and pain?

Beauty, ugliness, shame?

Or are these judgments merely my perspective

On this planet of polarity

When I am called to simply Love.

Yet I am back to wonder

Why you break yourself

Is it to ease the pressure of your pain?

Or is it to become?

To give yourself in sacrifice

Like these creatures of your dreams

The One who nurtures many in her breaking

The One who consumes her flesh

The Ones who are borne from it

Oh god, this is too much for me to bear

For if you are all in all then it is you

Both being fed and feeding

And it is me somehow

Broken from you body

To return to you as blessing

Oh Love, this is too much for me to grasp

This necessary pain that becomes nurture

Too much


Beauty in the suffering

That as I sit here gazing at your presence

Broken on my plate

Offering and requesting me at once

My breaking heart is broken open at the gift

And filled to overflowing with the possibility

That you share my sorrow and my need

And somehow in this moment

You and I become

Each other’s hope.


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