mary, mary quite contrary

Oh Mary,

Come to me. Oh please come.

Come as song or whisper.

Come as earth or sea, as voice or vision, child or crone…. but come, for I have much to ask of you.

Teach to me your wisdom, grant to me your courage, whisper unto me your hope.

Tell me. What was it like for you?

How long did you listen before you trusted, before your heart leapt at the truth you heard within?

How long did you hide it, harboring the secret hope that had been whispered in your ear, nurturing it within, covering it with your dress, your robe, your veil?

What was it like for you to finally grasp that scrap of hope, to let it pull you through your fear, to heed the words inside your heart that whispered ‘this is also good, this is also god”, to believe, believe, believe that this, yes this, yes you, were bearing god?

How was it to finally believe that your circumstance could somehow be God’s work, God’s will, God’s hope, God’s love and desire for you….that your very earthliness, your desires and your flesh, could somehow be a worthy vessel of god’s being and becoming in this place? 

Oh Mary, but that I could have your faith, to believe that I, in my own circumstance, am also blessed and bearing God, but that I could trust that this so oft denigrated flesh is holy, pure, a perfect vessel for the Holy?

Me, with my awkwardness and fear.

Me, with my thoughts and actions, feelings and desires, that somehow seem to always break the rules…of family, culture,  religion, and of sacred texts.

Me, who feels so scorned.

Mary, help me to believe it!! to believe that there is a secret seed also inside me, waiting to emerge as your truth in this world.

Tell me, mary, tell me

How you hoped

How you nurtured

How you loved

What you felt within yourself

Tell me

How you had faith that God would indeed fulfill the promise that God began in you.

How you believed in the outrageous claim that you alone heard

How you trusted in yourself, that you, just as you were, were good and good enough to be entered by, and to bring forth, God?

How you held the hope that what lay deep within you was indeed Holy

Help me to hope, oh Mary, help me to believe

That god uses this very flesh of my humanity, these hidden desires of my heart to create life and beauty, goodness.

That God continues to be born within me and each child every day

And that the ways I break the rules of culture and religion are somehow overflowing with your grace.

Oh Mary, come to me. Come speak to me the wisdoms of a life loved well, grant to me your courage, whisper unto me your hope.

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