whys

why, oh why,

oh why,

this striving for unity

this urgent press for oneness,

this undeniable need

for all to be included.

 

why this insistent yearning

for all to be Love,

not merely loved,

but Love!!

 

oh God, oh god

is this desire built into humanity,

a kind of script toward wholeness,

a remembrance

from where we came?

or is it merely my own fear

my need to feel safe

some wounded part

unable to face reality

or bear the possibility

 

that there is something else

yes, this is definitely

something

primal

 

oh god,

i must believe that you are all there is

i cannot let you go

for when i imagine deserting you

it feels as if a part of me is lost

denied

forsaken

and cut off

 

and yet it seems

i am already

one who has no arms

unable to reach out and grasp

embrace

console

belong

for fear of excluding you

 

and so there is a part of me

Cut off….

 

oh god

perhaps the fear is not at all

of turning away from you

but of entering completely

 

perhaps it is not Love but fear

that i perceive

so that every step i take away from center

leads me deeper into it

 

and so i’d rather be without my arms

than to feel this pain

embracing me…

 

oh god

i long to live

the truth that i believe

that you are all

and all are you

that you are love

and i love you

but god,

oh god,

can love be love

when it is from afar

     

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