sorrow’s mirror

oh god, some days when i gaze into my mirror i see your beauty gazing back
at me. other days i catch a glimpse of something else. something as profound

in its depths as is your beauty. yet in these moments i suspect i also
witness something of your beauty in your sorrow, in your weariness. it is
this sadness that begs me attend to you today, to not run from it and so
from you, to not deny this aspect of yourself as worthy.

oh god, can your sorrow be this deep? i want to rush into your arms, dump
this heap of sadness on your lap, give it to Your heart to hold. but then i
notice your face in my pain, and suddenly i realize that what i think is
mine is yours.

oh god, come to me. that i may hold you for awhile. yes, my opened heart is
big enough for You…. so this is how it feels to Love, to see what you see,

to feel what you feel, and to hold it all. to hold out hope, to mourn the
loss, to whisper ‘i am here’ and be unheard. oh god, let me hear you now.

oh god, there is so much pain! how tender is the sorrow of the disconnect.
how full of beauty is this emptiness. oh god, how you love!

oh god, i am here. come to me. let me hold your heartache. let me draw your
head down to my breast, that you may hear the beating of my heart as it
breaks open here for you. feel my gentle kiss upon your brow, my tears
anointing it with blessing, mixing with your own, fluids flowing, joining
once again in this holy union.

oh god there is no separation. we are truly one.

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