the audacity of Hope

Driving with Don today to the pottery studio, our conversation circled around what it looks like to dwell in the center of Hope. Unbeknownst to me, soon we would be practicing centering our lumps of clay on the spinning wheel, so as to craft a more sturdy vessel, one that was balanced and would withstand being fired. Watching the wheel spin, I reflected back to our conversation as pondered what the vessel of my life has contained..

I’d shared with Don that I really felt as if I was returning home (again) to my self with this reclamation of Hope. This knowledge of the innate Goodness of life is What I was born knowing. Many of us circle back around to the truths we knew as children, fired by life into something more solid, less malleable and more capable of containing.  Lately, my Wise Woman Witness, who has been an invisible presence for some time, has been reappearing in my life. I remember when I was first introduced to her, perhaps 20 years ago. At that time, I was surprised to find She’d been with me all along, following behind as a mother does her child, letting me fall, watching me grow, loving without compromise, guiding with unseen hands. What I soon learned was that She was in truth the real me, the one who had said ‘yes’ to this adventure of life, agreed to forget in order to become.  And it is through the eyes of her All is Well consciousness that I behold the beauty of this place—as She once beheld me.

She’s been inviting me for some time to sit with Her in that seat of Wisdom, and I’ve also longed to dwell there with Her. I think the difficulty was that the whole of me had not quite settled fully and I’d climb down from her lap to re-enter the fray.  Some scraps of my heart were still attached to being understood, or being seen, and She is invisible, after all.  Only I can see Her fully. And I had to reach a place in my life where it didn’t matter to me whether others could understand, or what they thought of Her.

You see, in some way, needing the approval of others made Her even more invisible. Sadly, human beings tend to diminish what they cannot see from where they stand… labeling Hope, for instance, as impossible or un’real’istic… somehow making small what is too Big to hold in their heads…. but never too big to be contained by our souls.  Others have often felt the need to correct (or despise) me so that I might fit into their vision of life.

But now I understand that this is a Gift that I have been given and I need not explain it so that it can be understood or accepted, I need only to hold it. I need only to BE it. To dwell in it. And from that seat of Wisdom I can simply Love. For neither am I called to diminish another’s way of seeing or being, for we each come bearing gifts unseen and each one of us grows into the fullness of those gifts in our own time and our own way, needing to pass through the stages of being human in order to become. No stage is higher or lower. All are needed and necessary. No gifts are superior or less-than. All are part of the Whole.  All are beheld by Love.

Love is never condescending. When I was receiving that energy, that was not Love. When I give that  energy, that is not Love. This place requires persons focused on the tasks of a generation, as it needs poets and visionaries. It needs innocent, awe-inspired infants and wizened fools.  Idea bringers and Implementarians.  Seeds on the wind and roots in the soil.

And it needs me to be Me…. centered in the truth of Who I am. And you to be You, bearing your gifts.

Fear not.

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. kidfriendlyyoga
    Jan 28, 2020 @ 20:52:14

    Beautifully expressed! Love this!

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  2. Anonymous
    Jan 29, 2020 @ 00:26:44

    How timely! Just yesterday, was St Thomas Aquinas Feast Day who said so much like you, “To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.” – Thomas Aquinas

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    • emmaatlast
      Jan 29, 2020 @ 08:21:26

      Well, I love knowing that. Coincidentally, we were in the “Village of St Thomas” for our pottery lesson.
      I had the thought last night that it’s like being pregnant in those early months when nobody can see, carrying around a beautiful secret that fills you with light.

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